If I can be particularly honest, I must tell you that I am forcing myself to write this today. I literally pep talked myself for the last 15 minutes, pushing my butt to sit in front of my laptop and write.
Such is the criteria now that I should have something to talk about, something to discuss upon, something to give my naive wisdom on.
I think one of the most difficult feelings to overcome is when we lose a sense of direction in what we do. A big reason to wake up every day is to have a purpose in life and work towards it. So it’s quite detrimental when we lose that connection that holds our purpose and our life together — and begins to question our existence in large. What’s bread to do without peanut butter and jelly? I don’t know why but I have been subjecting myself to this cruel question for the longest time possible.
Most times I do wish I didn’t think this way. What if the whole point of living life was to be merry, cherish, play, survive the rest and die. Ah, perhaps I’ll be this utopian person in the next life. This life I spend questioning existence. I didn’t intend to be inactive here tbh. 2 years back I thought of survival and went on entrepreneur-ing, however it did lead to seeping into a dark place, episodes in the washroom, questioning every decision I made on the path, and watch hope disappear into thin hair. But that apart I could tell you all a secret, that I hate admitting myself — I don’t love love social media.
It’s weird because I have to spend a ridiculous amount of time on it, scary because a larger part of my earnings depend on it, relief because it reaffirms that I have a life outside social media which is as beautiful if not more.
So today’s post is sort of like a testimonial of me journaling this roller coaster ride on this platform where I have a few of you reading this. Because without it, what’s the point of it all, really?
