I am jealous of my husband.
Not just him, I am jealous of too many people. You might think I am jealous of their house, car, the number of vacations they take, but I am frankly jealous of their purpose. Not in a way that I want to be them.
While dealing with this jealously, I realized that it has nothing to do with them. It has nothing to do with what they were doing on regular basis.
It is just me seeing someone having that spark of purpose and happiness through what they are doing. It’s not that I want to be them. I just want to feel that joy that they have in doing something. I do feel that joy periodically, but I am hoping it gets better than that.
In contentment in what I could give to other people. So basically my jealously and dissatisfaction comes when I don’t understand who I am and what I have to give to other people.
And the problem sometimes is that we don’t know what we have to give. That’s where the frustration for me comes from.
And, now that I can literally see through the jealously, I would just hold that question for a bit.
Good night | Day 33
